I’m trying to find some ass-kicking Olympic ads and so far there’s a fair amount of Ho-Hum and several examples of Meh, but not a lot that makes me go Wow. I’m sure there IS some great stuff, but where? There’s a lot to wade through.
The BBC did this: (To watch, click on the URL below.)
Okay. Yes. Alright. People swimming in lochs and diving off cliffs, looking proud and determined. A lot of Olympic ads do this Proud and Determined thing. They make me feel like an unaccomplished, lazy slob, and they fill me with a deep self-loathing at only ever breaking a sweat during the consumption of a lamb vindaloo, or while standing in a queue at Home Affairs.
That’s why they stage these Olympic Games, you know. Really. They do it to make us sit on sofas in our living rooms and look at 20 year-olds with six packs carved from marble, who fling their whippet-like bodies through the air and water, so we can feel thoroughly crap about ourselves for a month, every four years.
It’s complete bollocks to say that death and taxes are the only certainties we have. I have a couple of other certainties of my very own, and they involve competitive international athletics.
It is an absolute certainty that I will never be on an Olympic gymnastics squad.
What, not even the Rhythmic Gymnastics?
No. Especially not the Rhythmic bloody Gymnastics.
I will die. I will pay taxes. And I will never, ever do this.
Which is why I quite fancy this piece of Anglophobic work (below) from France. An agency called Leg produced this campaign for Eurostar, encouraging the French to pop over to London for the Games. It’s not the Anglophobia I like; I just like the fact that this is the only Olympic campaign I’ve seen that makes me feel okay about the fact that I am unable to perform a triple backward somersault.
The French captions are mine, but if they’re not real French, you can blame Google Translate.
And then there’s this affectionate homage:
Ew. See what I mean about Anglophobia? France, that’s very mean of you. Take it back.